Review: The Hell Hole Store – Three The Hard Way

ialive and Darko the Super of The Hell Hole Store

The Hell Hole Store produces funnies 7 days a week, but they spark a flint even when the subject matter is more depressing. “I’ll Take What I Can Get” connects with a roundhouse kick of reality, one that most of us experience at least once, maybe one-thousand times. This dirge reminds me of trying to stay creative, but also working to make money to survive, usually at jobs we don’t like, and also trying to make time for friends and family in there somewhere. The hard reality is that we will almost never be in love with our job, we will want to do things that make us happy for a living, but that doesn’t work out for all of us. Featuring a humbling verse from Open Mike Eagle, this song will probably strike a chord in you that has been twanged before by another creative spirit. We are all in this motivational cat poster together. 

There comes a point in every review where I start to think why even bother reviewing music? In an age where nobody reads and uno Bobby writes, shouldn’t I just rebirth my twitter and tell people to listen instead of writing full pages? The answer to these questions will hurt my feelings, so I will stop and list some choice quotes from to get you interested (and trust me, there are so, so many more where these came from):

“So full of cheese your middle name is perogis”


“Just like that episode when the Green Goblin got shot”

Darko The Super

“Jeff Sessions gave me indigestion”


Maybe I’ve been playing too much hacked Modern Warfare 2 lately, or maybe “Not Joking” is a tactical insertion the likes of which I’ve never before quickscoped. Darko has a history of low success with critics due to his hyper-transparency and unwaveringly-wavery lyrical style. He has been called a joke before, but the real joke is on those who fail to see the big picture of creativity. It’s not what makes money, not what makes you fit in or stand out, not about being so purposefully edgy and arrhythmic that you open a portal to the seven circles of Hipster Hell (which is located in the top oven of an Ikea showroom kitchen). It’s about art and honest expression, unless it isn’t. 

We are all living in the Hell Hole. And unlike an Ikea food court, you’ll want to see how this sausage is made. Hidden beneath the twin goofballery is a funky cyst of intelligent lyrics and memorable lines. But people it ain’t malignant, so it won’t hurt you. If you’re the owner of a brain that lights up when it hears fabulous lyrics, I say give this album a go, and also the two previous albums if you’re really digging it, and examine the crews other projects if you’re really drilling for oil. Check out Three The Hard Way from your local library (or Bandcamp)! But ask for your parents’ permission before getting wild on the beat juice. Anyway, goodbye for now. I have to go boil a night guard so it grips my weird teeth.



Track List

  • Voicemail (Intro)
  • Already Dead
  • Blare In Your Face 
  • Breaking Free 
  • Alright, Alright, Alright 
  • 3 Man Stomp (feat. DayTripper of The Difference Machine) 
  • Not Joking (Interlude) 
  • Martian King 
  • I’ll Take What I Can Get (feat. Open Mike Eagle) 
  • Stock Up
  • Quicksand 
  • Drop Cold Rhymes (feat. Height Keech) 
  • Futurehead 
  • Godzilla 
  • Donnie Don’t Do It

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