We give our dream list of eight creative directors we’d like to see in 2013.
What do Gaga, will.i.am, Alicia Keys, Justin Timberlake and (now) Lupe Fiasco all have in common? They’ve jumped on the growing “creative director” bandwagon. Gaga teamed up with Polaroid back in 2010, will.i.am with Intel, Alicia joined forces with Blackberry in January, Timberlake with Bud Light Platinum (of all the beers to choose…) and Higi, “a new health and wellness app where he now serves as creative director and an investor”. Apart from these companies trying to attach big household names with their products to drum up sales, I can’t see anything sensical about these moves. I mean, will they really be directing anything remotely creative within these multinational corporations, and if they do, what are the chances they’ll just end up like Homer Simpson’s “The Homer“? With that being said, here is a list of eight people we’d love to see as creative directors.
1. 50 Cent – Creative Director of Kevlar®
His cat lives may have saved his life when he got shot nine times and the glass in the cover of his debut album cover may protected him but sooner or later, he’s gonna need some real protection from bullets. A collaboration with Kevlar® would be ideal, as not only would he be able to get free bulletproof vests, he’d also be able to customise them for his needs. We’d recommend a breathable vest for the summer to go with his wife beater and maybe a faux fur-lined one for those cold winter nights in the crib. He won’t be toast but he’ll surely be toasty!
2. DOOM – Creative Director of Olay
Now, this isn’t a diss against DOOM or the condition of his skin (whatever it is behind the mask), but think about it: Olay do face masks. DOOM wears a face mask. See? It can get sweaty under all the metal so he could easily replace the steel for a face pack, rejuvenating his skin and keeping his identity concealed.
3. Kanye West – Creative Director of Colgate-Palmolive
Again, NOT a diss but this would be good for practical purposes. Kanye has been ranting on his abominable snowman/straitjacket dressed soapbox quite a lot recently and that means a lot of shouting and some possible flying saliva. The last thing you’d need as a fashion conscious rapper with something to say is bad breath and discoloured teeth (neither of which we believe he has of course). Enter Colgate. He could easily jazz up their brands with names such as Colgate Fakin’ Plax, Colgate “What’s My Grammy” Total and Colgate “Ooh, They So” Sensitive. And since Palmolive is part of the company, throw in some shower gel for when it gets a bit musty in those yeti costumes.